📁 12-24

I’ve been out here for several minutes with a lot of time to think about things. People are people. Game characters are game characters. I know the difference, and I hate that I have to say that. People may have their own assumptions about people like me. “He must be psychotic for avoiding intimate relationships with women.” Or hell, people may get the wrong idea because I enjoy interesting bands with names like Helloween. Obviously, I’m highly resistant to coercion or simple peer pressure. Subtle or not. I’ll use those coercion attempts to fortify my inner strength. This includes ridiculous moments like my dreams and my waking thoughts. You’d be wise to stand down and save your energy and or money. Lessons from Panama trickled down as well, so what people will do for money does not surprise me. I mean, in the 80s people did a lot just for a carton of cigarettes. Phew, now that we have that out of the way.

Also, I want to be perfectly clear that I don’t harbor any guilt. I do not harbor privilege guilt, #MeToo guilt, white guilt, or male guilt. Ok, maybe a little male guilt, but I can’t help that. I know I’m here at this location because of circumstances beyond my control. And I have worn many grateful hats as I stayed here. Toilet installation? Yep. Kitchen sink drain and faucet replacement? Patch the vinyl tub? Sure. Crawl under the house to strap up the wiggly sink drain? Yep. A/C coil cleaning? Several times. Roach problem? What roach problem? Starving spiders relocated to outside? At least once a month. House flies killed? Several dozens. Replace deep freeze 120V AC plug with broken ground and the corresponding months away from house fire kitchen outlet? Hello, my name is Chris. Remove back deck and relocate the pile? Yep. My hats so far are maintenance guy, son, brother, uncle, and occasional comic relief guy. Ok, so what about groceries? Yea, nearly every time. I’m out that door with or without shoes on to help bring in the groceries. And I’m a 2-5 bags per hand type of guy (depends on the number of bags). I know, I know. I’m 40 years old and I only carry 2-5 bags per hand? Listen, I’m working on it alright? I like to pace myself.

Scratch and dent fruits & veggies too. Nine apples for $1 and such. From a floor display. Kept cool by the store air conditioning.

If it wasn’t for how I grew up I’d be a basket case right about now. Though I bet I’ve said that before on this website. Dad would say something like, “Everything happens for a reason.” Well, I don’t believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but I do occasionally catch a glimpse of what he meant. Sometimes I can’t help but feel that something otherworldly plays a part in our lives. The generalization may have been part of that midwestern way of talking. While under Dad’s tutelage was when I found myself diving into dungeons in the game 🔗 Dragon Warrior. Most likely a present from one of Mom’s trips to Blockbusters on the way home from ’town’. To be fair I truly got my start with the Atari 2600 game 🔗 Raiders of the Lost Ark. The whole family played that game in 1987. Which might be why I tend to stay away from warfare games. I’m not sure. I have no issues playing Left 4 Dead, Doom, Quake, Halo, etc., so it’s not a squeamish thing. If I was squeamish I wouldn’t be working through the dozens of jury duty studies of lawsuits resulting from horrific events. Sometimes I wonder why I do them for $12-15 per hour. I guess it’s something right? Plus I learn something new from each case.

Dad’s drunken monk way of training me definitely taught me a few mental tricks to deal with the unexpected. Miss you Dad.

I grew out of my very angry phase by the age of 17 when I realized I might not graduate high school. I traded in my Korn t-shirts for used uniforms I found at the local flea market. I was a new person everyday of the week. So that was fun. I didn’t think it was necessary to take ACT/SAT tests. Not that I could have afforded the study materials or the costs of testing. I was mostly focused on graduating high school. Actually, for my senior year I took environmental science and consumer math. My biology teacher thought I did well enough to qualify for chemistry–which required algebra as a prerequisite. Failed the last half of chemistry, and three attempts at algebra–aside from community college high school algebra. My guidance counselor talked me into taking consumer math and environmental science to earn the prerequisite credits to graduate. How a student was pushed through chemistry without passing algebra is beyond me. So yea, I got a taste of WTF back in 2002. That’s when I learned not to trust something too good to be true. That and to watch my ego. I really enjoyed biology too.

Even though that was during the turn of the millennium.

Later on in my 20’s 🔗 these people unknowingly helped solidify my resolve. I mean, they are the reason 🔗 I quit playing all MMORPG games. Which ironically is why I had extra time to create this website. And create a 🔗 password generator. I wrote 🔗 passgen during an MMORPG break. First Python project and I was writing bits to RAM like I was some fancy video game creator. Go figure right? I guess it looks like a white noise generator in the Asciinema video, but you get the idea anyway. White noise is what I think of 95% of the conversations I had in South Florida.

This copy of Visual Studio Code helped me spell millennium (lol)

Furthermore, my interest in designing electronics stems from sleepless nights of trying to answer the question: “How can I create a Back to The Future 2 hoverboard?” Answer: mini jet engines. So uh, I scraped that idea (3rd grade). I’m not out here trying to do anything nefarious. Maybe something like a print at home solar walkway light that lasts longer than half a season. Honorable merchandise assembled in America.

I mean, what electronic components aren’t made in Asia these days? Asking for a friend..

And if you think I’m one of those sickos check my public records. I mean, I worked at a gas station off i75 by myself for three years without incident. I live a few minutes walk from a day care and two public parks. Ten years of planned celibacy. I’ll do ten more years without issue too. The only dirt on me is clinging to my boots.

Sheesh. Aliens among us? I don’t believe in that tabloid stuff.

Like a lot of people, video games keep me out of trouble. Kind of like walking out to the fishing hole and hearing and or seeing fish break the surface. I know I can’t cast at everything that moves, but if I fan out my casts, much like fanning out my dungeon crawling, I’ll pull something interesting. It’s always good to have several social media apps on the phone, and a quick secure way to unlock. You never know. It’s interesting to think what beasts and unique photo opportunities await at the watering hole. Where is the 🔗 MacGuffin in this dungeon? Each in game treasure chest I pick open in the murky dank nearly forgotten depths is like pulling a wiggling catfish out of the water. Some have a lot of meat on them, but all of them seem to be muscled enough to fight me with the same level of enthusiasm. And sometimes one catches a 🔗 bowfin, which is both awesome and not awesome at the same time. Those things are only reason to bring a collapsible net while freshwater shore fishing in the south imo. Bowfins are like those gosh darn trolls in Skyrim. Light tackle and the bowfin takes your hook; low level and the troll’s club launches you into the sky. Lots of fight and no loot too. Who wants to see a picture of this fairly common prehistoric monster fish? Not many lol.

Video game to fishing metaphor achievement acquired. Bonus bowfin metaphor unlocked.

Anyway, lock picking in video games and bowfin fish aside, I believe my sanity is fairly normal considering the circumstances. And I might have business cards to hand out to anyone in public that has a look about them like they know what I’m about. Maybe I can alleviate some of that he said she said mumbo jumbo. 🔗 They have no idea what I’ve been through. A peek at my world may even alleviate some pressure from their own troubles. At least something positive may result from pouring my dumb ass self on to this website. I’m suppose to be all quiet and mysterious. This out pouring is totally cricking my style.

Why yes, I too wear shit kicker boots. How do you do fellow person? Want .. uh .. do you want a wallet sized rectangle of paper? I have many to spare.

Carrying around ‘business’ cards and handing it to people would be a lot easier than asking every CVS patron that came to my register for a CVS card. “Ma’am, I know you’re with your granddaughter, but can I see some ID? Store policy for all wine purchases.” An employee from the i75 gas station I worked at was hauled away by local police for selling to an underage person. Not me though. Aw, heck no.

Pretty sure one of them underaged scamps keyed my car too.

While we’re on the subject of unruly retail customers, one CVS patron I had the displeasure of dealing with pooped his pants all the time. Walked around like it was everyone else’s business to handle his business. I’m talking dripping down his pants legs. Pee. Poop. No adult diapers. Too dignified. Even his pockets were lined with his own sewage. Meaning his form of payment was drenched in yuck. I looked at his face as he handed me his sewage dripping $5, and I couldn’t detect much behind those eyes. His sense of urgency for me to take his legal tender was all I saw. I was the help–he doesn’t fraternize with the help. Sometimes he would wave the soggy bill around a little as if we couldn’t see the money. No remorse for his walking tripping hazard. Unphased that he was a living breathing supermarket landmine of awful hygiene. Obviously, after a handful of visits he was banned from that particular shopping plaza. A lot of people knew each other from the different stores. Word gets around pretty quickly in those retail communities. So yea, I’m doing well thank you (lol).

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁🎅🎉

Oh, and how about Kyle Tucker huh? ⚾ :D