📁 09-23

Kubuntu 23.04 on this upgraded Lenovo Thinkcentre M73 has been mostly positive. Same computer I use to work the side hustle, Jellyfin (10TB), and Nextcloud (500G). Developing this website too (lol). And it looks good on the 32-inch Samsung 4K monitor too (🔗 HiDPI scaling @ 150%).

Bought a dual monitor arm to eventually dual wield 2x 32-inch 4K monitors, but now I have regrets .. too much room for activities.

A few complications while switching resolutions, but that’s most likely the increasing limitations of this here Nvidia K620. A quick restart resolves the complications. So it’s up to me to secure a Quadro P620 before prices soar again.

Soar like my heart right after the oatmeal drops the beat

Weird static noises showered through to my headphones without the Just Mixer attached to my janky two device one bluetooth headset setup. The inherent gain of the Just Mixer just boosts the noise. I’m not going to wear a static grounding wrist strap to make it stop, but there have been times when that seemed like the best solution. All this because I’ll occasionally forget I’m wearing headphones. Comedy ensues when I pull the computer across the desk like a god dang mule pulling a load of turnips to market.

Seriously, there was no intention with the album cover. It was on my mind because it was one of the first albums I listened to in 2013.

• 🔗 Merriam-Webster: Parasite

  Parasite : an organism living in, on, or with another organism in order to obtain nutrients, grow, or multiply often in a state that directly or indirectly harms the host

Parasites are creatures that thrive on using others. They have very little regard for the host, and want only what is best for themselves, because anything less would be inconceivable. Their demands will be heard above the demands of all others at all costs, and they are void of dreams or goals because their needs have already been met. If they were human, they would probably laugh in the face of people that say they’ll never retire.

I’ll never retire. When I finally scrape together a ten year domain for this website you can take that last line to the bank.

Calling someone a parasite is one of the lowest forms of insults. With a simple sentence a person is reduced to the least loved life forms on the planet. Which you might imagine is not fun for the person being called a parasite.

Have you ever envisioned what it would feel like to succumb to a tick invasion because you lack the dexterity required to pluck them off your skin? Parasites are terribly destructive creatures, and to be called one is enough to send someone down a spiral of self doubt and despair.

🔗 “How many vermin get to scurry up the piggy back And burrow in before it lose the personhood to sticky trap?” [NSFW]

With that said, this desk that I’m typing from does not belong to me. I did not create Visual Studio Code, nor did I create the Hugo theme or framework that I use every time I update this website. And the majority of my pet projects are like mix tapes made from Stack Overflow answers.

Though most of the code logic of my pet projects came from talking to Tux the Penguin. So technically, I owe all of my accomplishments to a masonite penguin statue.

I don’t enjoy this lifestyle. If there was something I could focus on long enough to pull myself out of this, I would. From 2020-2022 I had a remote job and funneled most of my earnings into improving my ‘office’ so that I’m more prepared for future projects. And at the moment I am in between projects.

Fun Fact: DSL connections can be maintained for hours during certain power outages by using a simple 300W UPS.

Actually, I was looking through old emails yesterday, which kind of gave me the idea for this blog post. In 2010, I applied to Walmart, Toys R Us, CVS, Target, and several other places, and never heard back. At the time I had at least five years of active retail experience, and had only month long gaps in employment. I was employed as a gas station ‘attendant’, and I applied to different jobs to pull myself out of working overnights for two years, but nothing came from my efforts.

Fill out the two page job application, and submit. I’m not talking about jobs that require cover sheets or resumes here lol

People officially diagnosed with ADD might be able to spot the pattern. Or maybe spot the cycle of rejection. Not only from lack of employment, but also from family and friends that think I’m just not putting in the effort to pull my own weight. I think anyone that has browsed my Facebook page would know that I am all for working hard to accomplish a goal. When the goals are inaccessible is when the self doubt really starts to eat away at the smile that interviewers are expecting to see in the first place.

It’s not all bad though. Had I not gone through long term unemployment, I would not have the skills to have deployed this website. I tried Linux Mint in 2013 because I was bored to tears and tired of MS Windows. Actually, the truth is I was honestly convinced that Linux would outperform MS Windows. I mean, it’s the framework for big name CGI tooling (Pixar).

During the first minute of interviews, I’ve witnessed an interviewer prop their head up with their hand, fold both arms and legs, and one interviewer casually asked me all the boiler plate worksheet questions without facing me. They were interviewing me for a position at one of the CVS stores I once helped to transition from an Eckerd Drug store to a CVS Pharmacy store. I knew how to do the job lol. One interviewer was ten minutes late to the interview because they decided to chat with a friend instead of interviewing me (“Maybe he’ll just leave.”). Another interviewer smiled sardonically throughout the interview. I guess I was a ridiculous candidate for cleaning snake cages. The only advice handed to me by a friend was to drive for Uber - completely bypassing my personality and recommending a job that would trigger migraines. I mean, I watched friends get jobs from other friends while I was stuck on the sidelines. I don’t blame them, and I always appreciate feedback. ♫ 🔗 Well, I guess this is growing up ♫

“Bermuda? Panama? What are you trying to pull? Are you not one of those meth people I’ve heard so much about lately?”

I worked as a unqualified HVAC mechanic for six months. The work was grueling, which was expected. Eventually you learn how to deal with the fiberglass dust that embeds itself everywhere. I loved using tin snips, brazing, and the fabrication side of the job, but the industry had different expectations of how to mentor people, and what methods should be employed to help others develop new skills. We were a residential team that specialized in replacing older HVAC systems, so I did get to see a lot of interesting ways of life.

Gojo 957. Probably not great for the skin, but it helps to remove fiberglass dust

It’s not that I don’t know how interviews work, or that I’m not aware that I’m suppose to ‘put my best foot forward’, it’s that they look me up and down and write me off as a small block of time that they will never get back. I am the waste of space occupying the chair that the last occupant used to brighten the interviewer’s day.

Blah, blah, blah. Fix my computer please.

Feel free to send your hate mail to 🔗 csmertx@pm.me

Shortened Proton.me email address for filtering out spam

I’m ok with being alone with myself. And I am comfortable with falling asleep nearly anywhere.

Bus benches, cars, buses, wood floors, desks (on/over), folding chairs, office chairs, love seats, couches, foldaway beds, folding beds, camping cots, futons, yoga mats, tile floors, carpets, skateboards as pillows, piers, big cities, little cities, covered parking lots, uncovered parking lots, never subway cars, random motel rooms, random apartments, random trailer park trailers, small planes, jumbo jets, bathrooms, and under the stars. Not romantically under the stars though, because I was alone, and a raccoon kept crawling under my chair.

A little over a decade ago I staid (with permission) in the upper floor of what was once a pet shop slash living space in Chinatown of Toronto. Where many people go to university (or to hospital). The window blinds in the room I used to hide my duffel bag were left open. So when I grabbed my clothes every morning, I saw dozens of people going about their day. The population density didn’t really scare me after the initial culture shock. It was one of the few times in my life where I blended in to my environment. Yea, I was a weird white boy in Chinatown, but no one cared. Too many people to care. Besides, I’m no 🔗 Jason Tripitikas lol.

Thought provoking skateboard rides around the city while everyone slept were fun. Raccoons dotted the sidewalks, and were face first in the curbside trash bags just vibing on leftovers from the local restaurants and grocery stores. They also did not care. Most didn’t even look up as I skated past them. One of them burped and or growled at me a little tho.

Those window peaking moments made me realize that deep down, I know I’m not a hermit. Also, those moments were a turning point in which Little Debbie snacks cakes are no longer enough to satisfy my deepest urges to sink my teeth into a spongy mass of happy chemicals.

A bakery was in view. Which was where awesome people made the best cake sized swiss rolls. For millions of people this is just business as normal. Swiss rolls are cake sized. Full stop. But, for someone that grew up with little tiny swiss rolls.. sheeesh

And that’s why random strangers like to call me bossman.

Hwhat?

At this point I’m nearly certain that the unique combination of Avantree bluetooth transmitter and Adidas bluetooth headphones are the cause of the random static chirp like noises I’ve mentioned before. I’ve tried a $10 ground loop isolator made for wasting $10, and a $35 ground loop isolator made for musicians. One did nothing, while the other converted the audio to mono and added more noise (whoops). I’ve also tried switching the USB hub to a dedicated PCIE USB port. All signs point to an over zealous transmitter picking up all kinds of noise within a range of ~100FT. And placing my hand on the Just Mixer only isolates some of the noise momentarily. If I keep my hand on the Just Mixer, some of the louder clicks, whirrs, and pops flow to the headphones.

I think the transmitter is attempting to send a distress signal out to the mother ship tbh (jk)

People give CBD Hemp Direct a bad rap mostly because it’s too cheap for some to trust. Sure, the spraying method sputters and does not evenly distribute Delta 8 oil, but it’s fun to have impromptu adventures right?

Fight through the pain Harold face as I play MMORPGs, Schmups, and FPSs.

All kidding aside, I think it’s important to disclose my usage to show just how responsible I am with the stuff. I have a micro digital kitchen scale, and use it everyday. I mean, this stuff is CBD based hash oil sprayed 2x on CBG flower buds (it can be intense). Also here’s a friendly reminder: Half Baked was released 25 years ago. You’re welcome.

This is the fun part where I turn a bad boy recreational pass time into plain ole dumb geeky science.

I’m going to end every sentence with a period. And I’m going to use the uppercase letters and the full paid version of words. Because that’s how adult this post is going to be. Pretty sweet right?

Big CBD is knocking at your door .. what do you do?

Alright, hopefully this will be a quick one. Dosing hence force specifically for bongs (cleaned about once a week). The peak of the effects I experience hits within 35 minutes, and will last from 2-4 hours depending on the dosage.

That Formula 710 cleaner gets the job done on tough to clean pieces tho. Henceforth.

I have three levels of dosing:

Also, if you’re the type to say that roasting coffee causes cancer, maybe it’s best to stay away from cannabis.

1. Working (via bong > 7:30am - 9:00pm)

   • 10-25mg (1-2 times)

     • At 10mg I am fully capable of high and low conversations. And in a pinch I could drive someone to a hospital.

     • Between 15-25mg is when my brain falls into pew pew pew mode. I zone out too much to effectively use a microphone, but I can follow through with the work easy enough. And in a pinch I could still drive someone to a hospital.

2. ‘After work’ (via bong > 9:00pm - 2:00am)

   • 25-35mg (once)

     • Beyond 25mg I am close to needing a cool down shower. Probably on par with a 1.2g joint. Irresponsible time.

     • There are times when work must be done, and the upper range causes focusing discrepancies for me. So it goes.

3. HIDE THE PAIN VIDEO GAME TIME (via bong > 11pm - 2:00am)

   • 35mg+ (less than twice a month)

     • Beyond 35mg I am full tilt in my head. My eyes are bloodshot, and I am fighting off the feeling of passing out. I rarely go beyond 35mg, because when I do I feel like a useless hunk of space trash. At some point I’ll actually apologize out loud for smoking so much at once. I might even start taking to the masonite penguin on this desk. His name is tux.

There. See how science ruins everything? You’re welcome.

I use a bong because it just feels right. I don’t mess around with herb grinders either. A pair of decent tweezers, a curved rectangular sticker (Art Primo godzilla stickers), a few tiny jam jars, micro digital scale, and a heavy af magnetic parts tray. To be honest, if I could plop the magnetic parts tray on to an iron table I’d feel much better. Hidable plant tray built into the desk you say? Interesting. Very interesting ..

I’ll just don my jeweler’s headgear and tweeze the night away. Full plop.

I’m also writing this post because Florida is heavy handed when it comes to substances that are not part of Florida heritage (alcohol). So uh, if I’m raided, I have confirmation that my stuff is legal.

Nope, too much science. Not allowed. RAIDED.